When I grow up I want to be a:______________

Here is where I am: A sophomore. No declared major. A heart for ministry. No passion. A broken spirit. Worried about the future. And A God that is supposed to be showing me where it is I am supposed to go.

It seems like everywhere I turn I hear stories about friends doing amazing things. Heading to Africa to follow God’s call, another to China to teach English, others are off to follow their passion for missions and head to different states like Tennessee and South Carolina. Other friends being involved with ICA or Compassion, and what do I do? Nothing.

I have a heart that is devoted to ministry and serving, but I don’t have a specific passion. How can I choose a major if I don’t have something that I am passionate about? How can it be that I have submitted to God’s will for my life, yet I am left out in the cold, no major that is driven from a passion. Good works are not being produced, and I am waiting on God…But how long should I wait? School is coming up again, and I need to buckle down.

Am I made for ministry? Have I missed the mark for serving the world? Why is it that everyone seems to have a plan and a God devoted life, and I have nothing? I haven’t done anything to advance the kingdom this school year, I have been so me focused, and I have missed so many opportunities to serve and help because I was self, and worked on myself all 7 months of my freshman year.

So when I grow up, I want to be a….I’ve got nothing. I don’t know what I am supposed to do in my life, and I am left without a clue to what I may be doing….

Sigh.

 

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2 Comments

  1. Britt, I did a lot of working on myself my freshman year too. And that’s okay, you can’t help the world without first helping yourself. There’s a lot of ways to twist that, but I mean, you’ll be no help to anyone else, if you’ve got things in your life bogging you down. I, along with many others, are very proud of the progress you’ve made this year. Just know that college is a time to learn about yourself, and that it will take some time. I didn’t declare my major until the end of my sophomore year, and I wasn’t even sure if it was what I wanted, I just did it, and THEN God slowly gave me a passion for the city. I was in your same place. I felt like everyone else was doing so many great things, and that everybody knew what they wanted to do in life, and they were all oh so passionate about it. And maybe there are a few of those people, but for the most part, for the rest of us, we don’t have it figured out yet. Be still and know that HE is still God, and He WILL lead you. Just be patient. Love ya 🙂

  2. Even those who seem like they have a plan are usually just wandering around trying to find it. I feel the same way in my own life. Right now, God has you serving at home and at Durley. Sometimes our stories don’t seem so majestic in our own eyes, but God is teaching us patience.

    Love you, M

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