Letter #3 (Parents)

Dear Mom and Dad,

 

I promise you that I will make something out of my life. I will make you proud…one day. I will fulfill all of my goals, and I will keep reaching for the stars, in hopes of one day to have you both look at me and know in my heart that the person that I have become has made you proud to call me your daughter.

 

Things haven’t always been the best. We fight. We fight some more. Then we add in a little screaming and crying. It tore me apart. The relationships that I wanted with my parents no longer existed, because of harsh hurtful words. I know that nothing will take us back to the days when everything seemed okay, but I want you to know that I love you.

 

I wish that we could have been closer. Hearing stories about my friends’ parents, and hearing them talk about their relationships with them, makes my heart hurt. I want that so bad, and I still do.

 

I am not blaming you two at all. You raised me right. I know right from wrong. I have good morals and values, I know what I believe, and I have never done anything that society deems as rebellious.

 

I wish that there would have been stories read to me as a child before I feel asleep, or a prayer together, or a time set aside for talking, and listening. I understand that you are both really busy, and those things seemed small at the time, but they really have left a lasting impact on the person that I am today.

 

I want you to know that I have struggled. I have dealt with perfectionism, I have thought certain things,I have done certain things, I have often thought that I am alone, unlovable, useless, and a waste of space in the world. These things have been a part of my life. Some of them, I cannot even talk about to the closest people around me, I just felt like you needed to know.

 

I serve a mighty God, and he has overcome all of these things, I know this, but I am still working on a ton of stuff. Don’t get mad at me when I revert back into my old ways, I am protecting myself from getting hurt.

 

I love you both very much, and I am so thankful that things are starting to change in our relationships. Little by little, things are starting to change and I am okay with that. I know that it will never be this picture perfect relationship that I have in my head, but I am okay with that.

 

Thank you for raising me the way you did. I love you both.

Love, Brittney

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2 Comments

  1. That first paragraph needs to be re-written or excluded. It’s an honest reflection of your desire, so for that it is good, but it is full of untruth. It is heartbreaking not to receive encouragement from the source God designed to be the strongest. It is wrong for your parents to not tell you that they are proud of you, but it doesn’t mean their approval should become such a strong motivator in your life. That path will leave you empty. We are called to love and obey our parents, and I can see through this letter that you have that sense of submission to your parents. But perhaps God is calling you to be his light to them, and that probably requires you to release the confusing and seemingly unrealistic expectations you (and your parents) have put on yourself (feel free to turn the finger back towards me on that one, ha –I can name it in you because I see the same untruth taking root in my own life).

    And since when is “reaching for the stars,” “achieving goals,” and “making something out of [your] life” Christ like? Christ didn’t reach for the stars. He left the stars to humble himself and come to earth. Instead, He reached for the person next to him, unconcerned about his reputation or whether he was doing something significant with his life. We recognize the cross as something that altered the course of history, but in the moment, it looked like failure. It looked like the end of whatever great thing Jesus was supposed to be doing. It was significant only because he was being faithful to the Father. And that’s what we’re called to: faithfulness. Not greatness.

    Your heavenly parent requires no such show of goal-reaching, perfection attaining awesomeness in order to pour out his affection. You already have His approval, Brittney. Live into it.

    “And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.'” [Matt. 3:17]

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