Today I went on a drive.
God PLEASE, I need to see you again. I need to feel you near. I want to be able to sit through a worship, better yet, I want to engage in worship.
I don’t have words, I don’t have an attitude worthy to enter worship, but I am asking you to just come and allow me to feel your presence, in a small simple way, just for a little while….
I had joy and peace two days ago, and it faded away so quickly that I miss is longer than I had it.
So tonight, I prayed. Prayed for the firs time in a long time. They weren’t my words, but the words of others, prayers that have been written out and sent to me, and tonight, that’s all I can do, but I am okay with that.
It’s a process. Baby steps.
I was reminded today that it’s not about the perfection, its about the baby steps that are progress, that produce redemption and a humble heart at the foot of the cross.
Im still seeking. waiting. asking. pleading. begging. crying.
But it’s all a part of the process, and the journey back to the food of the cross.