I have been doing an awful job about blogging and journaling since school started, and my life is starting to reflect that. I have decided that I am going to start doing 10 things each Tuesday evening to process and work through what has been happening in my life. Here goes nothing.
1.My kids at the church have become one of the biggest blessings in my life over the past three years. The closer that it gets to graduation time, the harder it is going to get for me, I am certain of it. Their beautiful hearts for Christ make me smile, and their passion to seek after truth brings true joy to my life. I am looking forward to 10 years down the road when they are in college and serving in churches and impacting lives, and seeing that same joy brought to them, and they call me up and tell me about it. These kids will go far, I know it… I know I may be a little on the bias side of it, but these kids get it more than any other group of kids that I have ever worked with…. Also, Kid Vespers is this Thursday. Prayers welcomed.
2. Mallory and I had a conversation about two weeks ago about moving from a counseling relationship to a mentoring relationship. She has been one of the most consistent people in my life over the past year, and I am so thankful that I am now able to have her as a mentor, and at the end of the year, I won’t have to say goodbye and end my relationship with her. Her wisdom and truth has been what has carried me through processing last summer, and I am so very thankful for that, and for her.
3. I am so thankful for my Vespers staff. I get to lead with some of the most humble and Jesus loving people on campus. Their hearts are so pure and their lives reflect the heart of Christ, which is so cool to me. Jesse has been such a blessing, and I am so incredibly thankful to have him as a co-leader. We work so well together, it’s almost crazy. God has blessed us this year. Prayers as we continue to work on the rest of this semester and into next semester, and looking into the future as we prepare to hand off this train to another conductor next year… Speak of Vespers, I am speaking next week. Homecoming week! C.R.A.Z.Y. I am so incredibly excited and honored to speak on this night. It’s the beginning of a new series that will take us to thanksgiving break, and that will fit right in with the chapel theme of the year. Prayers also welcomed for me, as I prepare for next week!
4. I miss my graduated friends. I really really do. I thought that I missed them my sophomore year. I thought I missed them last year, but goodness, I really miss them this year. There is just something about being a senior and always being looked at as a leader, a role model, someone to look up to, that the need for a spiritual director has become such a need in my life. Having them here before was something that I clearly took for granted. All the nights that I needed someone to talk to because I was struggling, but didn’t because I didn’t want to “bother them” well, I regret those nights now, because I treasure the ones that I do remember.
5. My health. It has been such a weird little thing lately. I recently was put on 5 new medicines to keep my headaches under control. Right now they seem to be keeping them at arms length. I always have a dull headache, but that is FAR better than what I was experiencing last year. The medicines are a really interesting bunch. One of them makes me forget things really quickly. The term that is often associated with it is, “Dopeamax” because it makes you really silly and you have a hard time remembering things and it’s hard to do things. It makes me both silly at times, and my arms, legs, tongue, fingers, and toes go numb. It’s so weird. I go back in a few weeks, so we will see what happens with all of this.
6. So there’s this boy. I like this boy. A lot. We hang out a lot. We do everything together. We are basically dating without the title. I enjoy his company, and he enjoys mine. He has made trips to Greenville, and I have made trips home. It was a summer love that quickly followed me into the school year. I thought that we would be dating by now… The only problem is, that he is in love with his exgirlfirend that is no longer interested. I’ve prayed about it, I have talked to my roommate about it, I have tried to process it myself, and I just don’t know what to do. I have never cared about someone as much as I care about him. He is probably the best thing that could have happened in my life this summer, he made this summer one that made me not so bitter anymore, and I learned to forgive a lot of people this summer, all the while, spending time with him, and process and learning and loving Jesus… We will see where this goes I guess.
7. Classes this semester have been really great…well, except botany. My Foundations of Christian Doctrine class has to be one of my all time favorite classes at Greenville College. I feel like I have grown so much, and learned so much already and it’s only a few weeks into the semester. Discipleship and Evangelism is a wonderful class as well. Preaching is going well also. COR302, is also going really well. The only thing that is going to be the death of me is botany. I am so terrified that I am going to fail the class…. But seriously.
8. I have been applying to seminaries. It’s so crazy to think that this time next year I will be in a completely new place with completely new people. It terrifies me and excites me at the same time. When I think about it, I tear up. This place has made me hate it and love it, it has caused me to break, to be molded and shaped into the person that I am meant to be, until the next step, until I am to be broken again, so that I can be molded yet again, and shaped and formed, all the while trying to reflect what Christ is calling me to be. It has been a really awesome process, scary, but fun.
9. I need a good honest conversation and cry with someone that I really trust.
10. Tomorrow, maybe I will actually ask someone if we can have that honest conversation.