My dear beautiful girl,
I know you are already rolling your eyes because I called you beautiful. You have mentally made a list of all the reasons why you are not beautiful in your head. Your hair isn’t falling into place today, you have a zit on your nose, and your weight hasn’t been where you have wanted it to be since you were 7 years old.
But, I need you to let all those things go, let down the walls and listen with an open heart and mind today. You, my dear friend are loved, beautiful, and enough.
There have been things in your life that have tripped you up and caused you to destroy the vessel that harbors your spirit. You have skipped meals, destroyed your thighs with a razor and walked away from people because you think you are “too much.”
I get it, I have been there, but I need you to know that there is something so much greater on the other side. There is freedom waiting for you in the breeze of the spring air and within the fresh snow that falls in the winter, blanketing everything in a white sweater, as if it’s to keep your frail and fragile heart warm.
The past 45 days have proven to be too much. You made resolutions, yet you already “failed” at keeping them. Grades are slipping, and you’re barely able to keep your head above water, so you turn to control, habits that destroy the beautiful being that is you.
I need you to know something…you are loved. You are more loved than you will ever realize. There is a God who has put things into orbit and hung the stars that thinks you are perfect, because that’s the way you were created, flaws and all. There are parents, teachers, friends and family members who think you are the greatest thing to happen to them. You have a support system cheering you on and loving you when you cannot love yourself. Let them. Don’t push them away because you feel unworthy or not good enough. Allow them to love you back to reality, a reality that screams YOU ARE LOVED in the face of an eating disorder, self-harm, suicide and anything else that tells you that you aren’t.
There is something else I need to tell you. You are beautiful. You, yes you. You have eyes that are filled with sparkle and a heart filled with passion. You have been crafted and created to be exactly as you are. No amount of makeup, dieting, and clothing will change the fact that you are beautiful. I know it’s hard to hear, because you cannot go a day without picking yourself apart. But I need you to believe me. I spent years destroying myself and telling the person looking back at me in the mirror that I wasn’t beautiful. But let me tell you what I’ve come to realize. Beauty that is measured by the soul extends far beyond clothing, weight, and looks. That my friend, is what you should measure yourself in. Not in pounds, inches, and pant sizes, but in the soul. Your capacity to love, your heart for missions, your ability to let people feel safe in times of need, measure yourself in that.
One final thing, you are enough. You are more than enough actually. Sure, you’ve made mistakes, we all have, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy and enough to exist in this world. In fact, without you, this world would be missing a part. You play a huge role in peoples lives, whether you know it or not. You are paving the way for someone else, someone else is counting on your story, and someone is waiting to see you bloom because that’s what is giving them hope. So you my friend are more than enough. You deserve life.
I hope that you find comfort in knowing you are not alone. There are people all around the world who are struggling, needing to know they are loved, beautiful and enough. I love you and I am so incredibly proud of you for still living, breathing, and believing that tomorrow will be better.
I’m here, always. Loving you, encouraging you and believing in you. You can do this! You are capable of more than you ever thought possible.
The girl who used to walk in your shoes